R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Yesterday I ranted about the lost art of listening. Today, I am going to attempt to locate another seemingly lost concept (I have a whole list, people!) which may or may not be located somewhere near Atlantis and headphone wearing monkeys. It’s hard to know for sure.

Today’s RANTastic topic: Respect. But, you probably already guessed that from the title.

Respect for other people, their beliefs, traditions and ideas and last but not least, respect for what is important in life. I’ll give you a little hint... A elementary school trophy, while nice, is not all that important in the grand scheme of things.

Last night, my son and I were in the car on the way to the mall to buy jeans. He outgrows his clothes and shoes about every two weeks now, but that’s ok. We both dislike shopping, but it gives us some together time to chitchat.

He reminded me that he had a soccer game today and I promised him that I would come see him play. He said I didn’t have to because they would probably lose due to a lot of the kids on the team not attending school. It is Rosh Hashanah and Eid ul-Fitr, the Muslim holiday marking the end of Ramadan.

Side note #1) We live in a very diverse area and a lot of the kids on the soccer team are probably observing one of those holidays and #2) It's nice to win, but I don't care if they lose.

The diversity here thrills me because my children have grown incredibly respectful of other’s beliefs and cultural traditions. My son's mind is growing as fast as his feet and he has noticed that while on the surface these things may appear incredibly different, they really aren’t. Like me, he is finding people as a whole to be quite similar despite superficial differences and recognizing that it's in individuals where there’s a whole lotta “assing” going on.

Back to the story....My son then said that there was a chance the kids might show up because the coach told the kids to ask their parents if they could go to school instead of observing a religious holiday. You know, so that they could be allowed to play in the soccer game and then they would win.

Wait a minute! The coach wants the kids to ask their parents to interrupt a religious holiday and precious time spent with extended families and close friends for an 8th grade soccer game? (sigh. these things never cease to amaze me)

My son said yes, but...(ahhh, there’s always a butt) only because they are undefeated.

Of course! What was I thinking? An undefeated 8th grade soccer team certainly should take precedent over thousands of years of faith, tradition and family. Now I know what is wrong with me and why things get under my skin like they do. I’ve had my priorities completely ass-backwards all these years!

First thing Christmas morning, I’m going to drop my son off on the field. I’m sure the coach will be there, right? Nothing could be more important than winning a game, kicking each other in the shins and time spent trash talking another team.

Some people might see the coach’s request as a silly, maybe even thoughtless little slip of the tongue. I wish I did, but I don’t. I see that kind of request as a total lack of respect towards anything that he personally doesn’t believe and that is interfering with the school's desire to have boast an undefeated soccer team. More than likely, someone above him is rolling a marble down his butt crack to make sure it happens. They put signs up on the street for these things around here. It’s like a badge of honor or something. Too bad so much disrespect goes into getting it.

I see it all the time. My daughters’ egocentric jackass of a coach doesn’t care who’s feelings he has to hurt or anything about the insane demands he makes on the kids so that the school can make Nationals.

This one is my personal favorite. It came home on the “cheerleading expectations” agreement form. “You are allowed to miss one and only one practice during the year for a family event.”

I don't know about you, but I would be so proud to have one of my children, years from now, say something like “I missed being at my grandmother’s 97th birthday/Cousin’s First Communion/Niece’s Baptism/Sister’s Wedding/Uncle’s Funeral/Brother’s Graduation/Fill In The Blank, BUTT it’s totally ok, because instead, a group of kids tossed me up into the air and I didn’t fall on my head and just look at this shiny ribbon they gave me!” (just to clarify, yes, I am being sarcastic.)

It’s easy to manipulate children into thinking something is more important than it is, but why can’t some people see how just ass-inine (yes, this word is intentionally misspelled) this is?

I’m mortified by the moronic and disrespectful ways people act in so many ways (making disrespectful requests and not listening are just two) that I’m thinking of having a contest which hopefully, might make people think a bit.

It will be called: Just how self-centered and disrespectful of an ass can one be?

I guarantee fierce competition and I haven’t quite worked out all the details yet, but I have selected the following prizes:
Third place will be awarded a “fanny” pack. 

The second place winner will receive a “rump” roast. 

The ultimate “Hot Patootie” winner will receive a BUTTon with a big, red letter “A” on it.

No, not A for adultery, A for ass. Sometimes I think it’s a shame they stopped doing that whole scarlet letter thing. At least you’d know who you who you were dealing with right up front.

It certainly would make life a whole lot less complicated, no?