Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Fat Chance

Meet Richard Wade Cooey II. He is on Ohio’s Death Row and is scheduled to be executed on October 14, 2008. He is hoping for a stay of execution because...get this...he is claiming that at 5’7” and 267 pounds, he is too fat to be executed.

He says that nurses have a hard time finding his veins when doing medical procedures and that his migraine medication may cause a resistance to one of the drugs used to put inmates to sleep before the lethal injection is given. His lawyer claims that there is a risk he won’t be properly anesthetized and therefore, the lethal injection could be excruciating.

Awww....yeah, that’s what can happen when you spend 23 1/2 hours a day in a prison cell for 21 years while eating starchy foods instead of being a productive member of society!

Seems to me if this guy needed some kind of life saving surgery doctors could properly anesthetize him, no? Perhaps the warden should call Jenny Craig or something.

I understand wanting to get out of an execution. I really do. But maybe Mr. Cooey should have evaluated his actions before doing what he did. Oh wait, he couldn't. He was drunk and high.

Way back in 1986, Richard and his friend, Clint Dickens, threw a piece of concrete off ofan interstate overpass disabling an auto driven by two University of Akron students, Wendy Offredo and Dawn McCreery. The two “good samaritans” then went down to see if the girls were alright and while pretending to help them, took them to a remote location where they robbed, raped and murdered them.

Cooey, who was 19 at the time of the murders, says that he didn’t do it. He says it was his friend, Clint Dickens, who did it.

Cooey’s “defense” was that he was far too drunk and high to be able to rape someone or bash their head in with a rock.

Of course! How charming.

I wonder if Cooey considered the fact that raping these girls and smashing their heads into rocks might be excruciating, too? Probably not, because, you know, he was high and drunk.

He was already granted a stay of execution back in 2003 when an appeal was made for “more time” to study the case.
Well, it’s now 5 years later and now he’s too fat to be executed. I guess when you’re out of time you have to get creative with something, right?

Sorry. Fat chance on getting any sympathy from The Rock Chick on this one.


Dustin said...

This has to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard...and trust me, I have heard a lot of ridiculous things!

You know - I don't necessarily take sides on the "for/against the death penalty" conversations because I truly don't know how I feel about it, but if the decision has been made, then the decision has been made. Sounds to me like he needs to prepare to embrace eternity and stop worrying about how much longer this life will last. Sounds like he needs to make his peace with his Maker!

The Freelance Guru said...

Capital punishment does some interesting things to people. I'm not a supporter presonally, but I'm all for making this guy starve to death...

This Eclectic Life said...

Guru has a creative answer to the problem. Obviously taxpayers have spent waaay too much money feeding this felon. Like Dustin, I'm a little "on the fence" about the death penalty. Perhaps the decision on his execution should be made by the families of his victims? Or maybe they should just get him drunk and high before they inject him. Then he won't know what's happening...just like when he didn't know what was going on when he raped and murdered those girls.