A? B? C?

It’s easy as 1-2-3

D?....F?

Never! Not for me!

I have to brag.


The night before last, my daughter and I stayed up into the wee hours of the night doing a poster board homework assignment. This one was a doozy, too, because a) I never read the book, b) it involved drawing and c) she was doing a lot of wailing.

I don’t normally do my kids’ homework unless they typically do their own homework, it’s the middle of the night and something resembling a nervous breakdown is involved.

Fortunately, this doesn’t happen often.

In fact, the last time I did someone’s homework was when I realized that my daughter didn’t cook the chicken before she made her Chicken Enchiladas recipe for Spanish class. Only that time, it was me having a nervous breakdown over the thought of all of those potential salmonella poisonings.

Mental note to daughter: When she wakes up in the morning, instruct her not to eat anything the other kids bring to spanish class tomorrow.

Enchiladas Daughter ended up getting an excellent grade. Included in the comments were the words “tasty” and “yummy”. All I have to say is these tasters must not eat good food very often because nothing I’ve ever cooked could be described as either of those things.

Poster Board Daughter carefully carried our homework to school yesterday morning and presented it to Ms. Crass. The artwork, she said, left a little to be desired (bitch!), but the drawings showed great thought and a total comprehension of the book.

The grade?

100%. Yes, that’s right. 100%. A++++++!

It’s been (cough cough cough) 25 years (cough cough) since I’ve been in a high school classroom and no matter how ridiculous the assignment, it seems I can still pull a 100% out of my butt.

It's not the same butt I had in high school, but it's totally cool to know I've still got it :)