Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Do You Hear What I Hear?

I have a confession to make. The Rock Chick is not perfect.

Shocked? Ok, I know, it’s hard to believe, but, please, close your mouth. That dropped jaw look isn’t attractive unless you are a blow up doll.

I recently learned a lesson about myself. What I realized is that sometimes I might just let certain emotions I have about some things cloud the state of openmindedness I try so hard to achieve.

My grandmother always yells at me about this.

She says I should imagine life as a beach and there I am, (in my super cute suit with matching flip flops and rose colored sunglasses), drawing my proverbial line in the sand. As long as things are remain sunny and calm, nothing is probably going to happen to my line. But what if a big wave comes and washes that line away? I will have no choice but to draw another one.

And..Grandma always says...if you haven’t realized that your line was in a bad place because some tidal wave was able to come and wash it away in the first place, well, then you’re a dummy. Don’t draw it in the same place the second time.

Did I listen? Not always.

Today was my grandparent’s 71st wedding anniversary and I took them to their favorite place, The Old Country Buffet. Hey, whatever makes them happy. I would talk to my 95 year old grandfather, but he can’t hear me and according to him, hearing aids are for old people so he won’t get one. Grandpa jokes that he just pretends not to hear anything because then my grandmother stops talking to him. I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling.

They still hold hands! One look at them and you can tell they are in love.

I asked them what their secret to being married for 71 years of wedded bliss was.

Grandpa didn’t answer (because he couldn’t hear me) but Grandma said there was no secret and it's not always bliss. It’s like one of those crazy rides at the amusement park. Up, down, sometimes it’s thrilling and you can let go and hold your hands up in the air, sometimes it can scare you to death and then you have to hang on tighter. You just have to tough out the rough parts and hope you don’t throw up on anybody before the good times start again.

I asked my grandma how old she was when she got so smart because I’m 41 and feel like a dummy sometimes.

She said when she outlived all of her friends and my grandfather went deaf and she was left with no choice but to talk to herself. She realized she didn’t always like what came out of her mouth until she really had time to think about it.

I hear that. I am truly regretting some opinions I have expressed here in my blog. I let anger cloud my better judgment and obviously, if I had really thought about it, I probably wouldn't have written what I now think are angry and judgmental things.

I had plotted a revenge scheme against a former friend who really jumped over my line. It was ready to activate, but then I had to delay it because my friend Camilla had to have surgery and I needed her scheming capabilities.

Camilla has recovered and we were set to launch when someone inadvertently taught me something yesterday.

There’s a big difference between hearing and actually listening to someone.

I was letting my anger about the actions of my former friend drown out something that I should have been listening more closely to.

There’s enough tidal waves in the world that can take any of us by surprise at any time. I certainly don’t need to make any more of them. I have canceled my revenge plot. I’m getting off that ride and am finding a different one. There’s a whole big amusement park out there!

Yes, we do learn as we go. Sometimes when we least expect it.


Karina said...

But as long as we learn, then the ride is worth it, right?

Vixen said...

I am all into the new softer, sweeter rock chick...BUT it would have been fun for us here on the outside to hear the plan.

FRIGGA said...

Very smart post - it sounds like you have wonderful grandparents!!! :-)

julia said...

Jessica, this post is golden. Hugs to you for putting your revenge plot on the backburner, no matter how spectacular it was.

Congratulations to your grandparents on their 71st wedding anniversary! What an accomplishment. What precious words of wisdom from your wonderful, wonderful grandmother.

Damien said...

I get mad at people sometimes and when I count to 10 and take the high road, I always thank God I did so!

Live and learn is definitely a truth of the universe.

JAM said...

Lots of good wisdom here. I've blown a gasket or two in public on my blog and though I leave it out there, I've certainly said things I'm ashamed of later.

That's great about your grandparents. You are blessed to still have them around and wise to take advantage of chances to see them and spend time with them.

When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to be grown up. My parents were so confident and I was so shy and screwed up. Then I grew up and got to know my parents as adults and found out they were as unsure of themselves as I was. Moral: you never stop growing up. That was the most shocking thing I ever had to learn. At 45, I still have a lot of growing to do.

Anonymous said...

First of all... your grandma is an amazing woman, who I would like to speak with. She has quite the way of laying things out for you and she sounds very wise.

Second, I am really glad that you had that epiphany, and I am even gladder you shared it. It certainly gives me a little something to think about.