Stuck In The Middle (Hysteria Lane)

I realized it’s been a while since I wrote an “Hysteria Lane” post about my neighbors. There’s a reason for this. I rarely see the Desperate Housewives anymore.

Gabrielle and Carlos divorced after Gabrielle’s affair with their son’s football coach. Gabi thought that Mr. Football was going to leave his family and they’d all live happily ever after with their future little linebackers and cheerleaders. Didn’t happen. Mr. Football dumped Gabi as soon as she and Carlos sold their home and she moved out. We’ve maintained our friendship with Carlos and Gabi, well, she has moved on to new miniskirted bar-hopping friends. That’s ok with me, because I never much cared for Gabrielle to begin with.

Now I’m hearing a similar story about Lynette and Tom across the street. I’ve always been close to Lynette and Tom and they have four children who are similar ages to mine and the hubby’s. We are godparents to each other’s children and while Lynette and I are very close, Tom and my hubby seem to have the strongest of the friendships.

Tom used to come over regularly and watch boxing or have a few beers, but in the last couple of months, he has been strangely absent.

I had a feeling something was up because I haven’t heard from either of them in over a month. Saturday was Lynette’s birthday, so I walked over there with her present. She recently started teaching pre-school, so I bought her a bunch of felt things you put on felt boards. Yes, I have kids and no, I don’t know anything about all that stuff. It’s irrelevant to my story, anyway.

I sat on the couch with Lynette and admired her new, rather extravagant, MacBook laptop that Tom surprised her with for her birthday. She didn’t seem that thrilled with it. I asked her why and didn’t expect the answer that I heard. She said she’s sure Tom bought it because he’s having an affair and he doesn’t want her in his laptop which she had previously been using until he “forgot the password”. She’s just suspicious, she doesn’t know for sure. My thinking is that if you are suspicious, you probably have reason to be.

Forgot the password to his work laptop that he uses every single day? LOL. Oh yeah, that’s a good one.

This would be Tom’s second offense, too. The first was about 7 years ago and believe me, I was waiting for the girl he was involved with to start boiling rabbits or something like in Fatal Attraction. That was really ugly.

Maybe I’m wrong there, I don’t know, but I think this time Tom isn’t going to get another chance to swing before he’s out.

Not all that shockingly because I’m sure Lynette told him that she told me her suspicions, shortly after our conversation, Tom came over to hang out and have a few beers.

Here’s my pickle... Do I say something? Do I hit him over the head with a frying pan? Do I pretend I don’t know even though he knows darn well that I do?

I figured if he wants to talk about it, he’ll bring it up. He’s been over almost every day and still hasn’t said anything, but then Lynette calls and wants to know everything he has said and if I’m on her side. Sides? I can’t pick sides. I love them both.

I am staying 100% completely stuck in the middle on this one.

You all know that I don’t condone this kind of thing at all. But there’s also the side of me that loves my friends and just because they may have succumbed to temptation, it certainly doesn’t make them bad people and doesn’t change my feelings about them at all.

It’s easy to be mad because of somebody’s poor judgment, but truth be told, I think the pain involved in affairs affects both spouses. It may not be the same kind of pain, but I don’t necessarily know that one is worse than the other. And..I’m pretty sure that both of them need someone objective to talk to.

Once again, this is a crazy time on Hysteria Lane. Now everyone knows why I routinely just stay in my house :) I’m really hoping everything works out without too much drama.