Britney Spears used to rock. Now I think she uses rock and totally not the musical kind. I have no idea what is wrong with that girl, but after Courtney Love crawled out from under a rock to defend her, I have to get in on some of this.
How many warnings and chances did she totally blow off leading to what would be a rock bottom landing for most moms?
My usual snarky Rock Chick self is still not quite at 100% and since I’ve been unable to even come up with a Thursday Thirteen for a while, I have to thank one of my favorite rock stars, The Big BaHuna, for his assistance with today’s list.
Today is Thursday Thirteen....and here’s mine...
1. Now I get it! Sean Preston and Jayden James are just modern versions of the names Billy Joe and Jim Bob.
2. Just because you CAN procreate, doesn't mean you HAVE to.
3. “Tan your behind” is an expression. I didn’t mean for you to go out and take it literally.
4. Can you please straighten out your hair? It appears to be on crooked.
5. Morphine laced lollipops do not qualify as junk food, Ms. Spears.
6. Oops you did it again, you went to the bar, wound up on the floor, oh baby, baby
7. I know you probably didn’t attend a regular school like most kids, but on drug and alcohol tests, you don’t want to get the highest score.
8. Sorry you misunderstood me. I meant “hi”, not “high”.
9. What movie role exactly were you rehearsing for with that umbrella incident? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Mary Poppins The Remake.
10. I said “CAR seat” not “BAR seat”.
11. Snakes, bongs and Paris Hilton are not proper play toys for toddlers.
12. Listen Missy, if I have to give your children to a wanna be rapper with a mustard stained wife-beater t-shirt and poor hygiene skills, what does that say about you?
13. And...young lady, underwear is never optional, you are not Sharon Stone.