Sad Eyes

I’m very sad tonight. Earlier this evening I had to have my dog, BAILey, put to sleep. I know it was the only thing to do, but I’m sad and I miss him so badly it hurts.

I met my BAILey seven years ago on St. Patrick's Day when my daughter and I were at a dog show at the Arlington Park Race Track. It was a large event and there were dogs of all kinds showing off their training and tricks. We were walking through just kind of looking at the dogs when we noticed a whole bunch of dogs up for adoption in the back. They were jumping and barking... except for one. That one was BAILey, except his name was TJ then. He was limping, emaciated and was recovering from what appeared to be some pretty severe abuse. He also had the sweetest eyes I had ever seen. That dog really needed someone and I had to take him home. We named him BAILey for the Irish Creme and because all my animals have some sort of police related name. We figured we kind of "bailed him out" so it fit perfectly.

It only took BAILey about three minutes to get adjusted to our home. He moved right in and within a few months, he had almost doubled his weight and was a healthy and happy dog, minus the occasional limp. He had previously suffered a fracture to his leg that was never treated and had healed a little funny. Sometimes it hurt him, not too often, though.

We played, we cuddled and BAILey always kept my secrets. He loved to be talked to and he would climb up and lick my nose every time I did. I laughed, he tailwagged and we were happy.

Several weeks ago, I noticed that BAILey was becoming very skittish. He was hiding, cowering and shaking. I chalked it up to the noise from the thunderstorms, but when the storms stopped and BAILey didn’t, I began to worry. He didn’t appear to be in pain but we tried pain relievers and tranquilizers and nothing worked. BAILey was become more and more skittish and worse, aggressive.

He began bothering the kids at night when they were sleeping. Barking at the door, jumping on their beds and always whining and shaking, panting and pacing. He wouldn’t go outside without a lot of coaxing and when he did, he hid behind the shed and there was no choice but to just wait him out.

I awoke in the middle of the night to my daughter’s literally bloodcurdling screams for help. The dog just started attacking her while she slept. Fortunately, he did not bite her but he scared the crap out of her (and me) and he scratched her up pretty badly. It took all my strength to pull the dog off of her and when he looked back at me, growling with those aggressive eyes, I knew that this dog was no longer my sweet BAILey and it was no longer safe to have him in the house.

At the vet’s office, I saw the last look in BAILey’s eyes. In them was my sweet and loveable BAILey, the one I will always remember. I have no idea what happened to him, but my heart is just aching for one more nose lick from that 80 pound, shedding, always begging for my food furball :(

I really loved that dog.