Thursday, May 31, 2007

Shades of Gray (Thursday Thirteen #18)

As you know, (because I talked about it too much) it was my birthday last week. We had the family over this past weekend to celebrate all of the household birthdays. I got some great gifts. My favorite was an envelope of full of cash from my parents. One size fits all and green is one of my best colors! Actually, lime is my best color but money green works, too!

Oldest Daughter said that she saw something she really wanted to buy for me, but she didn’t have enough money with her at the time. When I heard what it was, I whispered a sigh of thanks that I’m very stingy with the allowances.
 
She would have bought me a cropped top with the saying.... “McDreamy makes me McSteamy” printed across the chest.

I'm crazy about Grey’s Anatomy, but something tells me I couldn’t pull off actually wearing that shirt in public. Come to think of it, I don’t think I probably ever could.

This got me thinking about other things I might McLove, but just aren’t for McMe. No shades of "Grey" here. Seriously!

Today is Thursday Thirteen...and here's mine...


Thirteen THINGS I JUST CAN'T PULL OFF


1. The “Z” Snap. I’ve seen women on Maury’s show do this when the paternity test confirms that the father of their baby is indeed the one they’ve been saying it is. I’ve tried to work this into my “I told you so!” occasions, but I can’t seem to snap and do the “Z” at the same time.

2. Saying “You go, girl!” or calling other girls “Girlfriend!”. Neither can my sister-in-law, Gloria, but she does it anyway.

3. Colored contact lenses. They look freaky on me.

4. Wearing big blingy dangling earrings. In the store, these things taunt me begging for purchase, but I know I’m definitely more of a simple hoop gal.

5. Rap. I think I can rap in a Vanilla Ice’s mom kind of way, but my kids disagree. If only I could get that crotch grabbing/hand sign thing down pat, I know I could change their minds. Word!

6. Veil Dancing. I still can’t do it without getting all tangled up. I’m thinking of switching from belly dancing to a more “Dancing With The Stars” kind of dance class. It’s a shame, because I know I would totally rock those finger cymbals if given the chance.

7. Wearing a bikini. I never quite had the top, but now I seem to have lost the middle and the bottom for one, too.

8. Birkenstocks. They remind me of the McFugly 70’s “Earth Shoes”, and just like them, they fall off every time I take a step.

9. Knee-hi socks and hot pants. “We wore short shorts” with knee highs back in the Three’s Company days and I am liking the comeback, but it’s best left to people who can stand the smell of Nair.

10. Babydoll shirts. I bought one and modeled it for the hubby. He said it looked great if I was trying to appear four months pregnant. Not exactly the look I was going for.

11. Using my kids’ slang. Try as I might, every time I say “I gotta bounce!” out loud, it causes people to giggle. Which is like totally bogus!

12. Victoria’s Secret Supermodel Sexy. It must be all the feathers on those wings tickling me because every time I put the outfit on and catwalk in my living room, I start laughing. That’s not what happens in the commercial.

13. Tube Tops. Yep, they’re back, too! I don’t even have to pull one of these off. Without much to grab onto, they just kind of fall off all on their own :)

24 comments:

amy said...

thats an honest and fun list..That Mcdreamy shirt made me laugh

Stephanie said...

As usual, a great list!! Yeah, I got a thing for McDreamy too!! That man makes my motor run!!

Tube tops....never could pull it off!

Scott said...

After reading #10 I'm wondering where you buried your husbands body.

Great list, love your sense of humor.

Starchy said...

Hilarious list, and I LOVE the McDreamy shirt. ha!

I love your blog, too.

Thanks for visiting mine!
Starchy

TeaMouse said...

Veil Dancing is hard - I tried belly dancing for a bit, but I just felt like an oversize cow trying to do ballet - and here I thought I had great coordination...lol!

JAM said...

Great list.

I've personally never seen ANYONE who can truly pull off the colored contact thing. They always look hideously fake to me, like some vampire in a grade C horror movie.

Earth shoes are, and always were, of the devil. Ugly, ugly, ugly. The latest versions of them are no different.

I do like to use kids slang, carefully chosen as to be out of date, to embarrass my daughters in front of their friends. I mean, embarrassment is a parent's best revenge, and a teenager's greatest fear.

Carolan Ivey said...

Your list made me laugh out loud! I can relate to every single item. :D

Sadly, I must actually WEAR Earth Shoes because I can't wear cute shoes - they hurt. :(

Judi said...

I have just been cracking up reading this list! You are too funny!

SlackingOverachiever said...

The word "McFugly" made me laugh as did the rest of the list. Unfortunately, I can't pull off any of those things either. I've never tried veil dancing but it sounds like something you need to be very coordinated to do. Thanks for stopping by my list and offering encouragement!

JennieBoo said...

Cute!

I enjoyed your witty bantor, as well as the items on your list.

Keep up the good work, you wacky hipster!

Thanks for sharing your 13!

Happy Thursday!

pjd said...

Love love love the McSteamy shirt. Kids have the best sense of what their parents will love. Thank dog I can't remember anything I gave my parents. A few years ago we had a garage sale and tried to sell off the rusted shell of an old cruddy gas barbecue grill. I was embarrassed to put even $5 on it, hoping someone would offer to haul it away for free. But these two ten-year-old boys came by and one said, "My dad would love this!" He wanted to pay me right then, but I made him go get his dad instead. The poor kid seemed more excited than a cat in a vat of tuna.

Thanks for stopping by my TT, and glad you enjoyed the "sudden gusts of wind" haiku.

Karina said...

This was a great TT...I loved it, and might have to steal this idea some Thursday in the future!

OH and about your number 9...I believe the rule of fashion is: "If you were around to wear a trend the FIRST time it was in style, you are probably too old to wear it the second time around"...at least that's my rule of thumb...keeping me away from all the 80s neon stuff that seems to be back in full force! ;-)

Thanks for stopping by my TT!

Kuanyin said...

Great list! I totally agree with you on some of these...especially the Birkenstocks! Happy TT!

Stone Girl said...

Wearing tube tops well is tough. I'll try a bikini on the beach before I walk around in a tube top. Great list!

Raggedy said...

I am laughing so hard here!
Your list is so funny...
My son was putting in a job application for summer employment and I learned a new word "speds" let me know if you heard it?
I can relate to your list..
Thanks.
My TT is posted.

Bonnie Jacobs said...

Your list made me laugh out loud, really LOL. Thanks. By the way, Shelly sent me.

JoeinVegas said...

I don't know, but that Seriously T would probably do pretty well.
Hello, Michele sent me (if you are the one that left a comment above mine, your link didn't work. If it's not you, I'm still glad I came by here.)

FRIGGA said...

That's pretty funny! I'm here via This Eclectic Life.
=)

Happy Mama to Three said...

I love the "not happening on this body" lists. Mine was a couple of weeks ago.

Thanks for the visit.

Cindi

Michael C said...

Many Mcthanks for visiting my McbBlog. I'll be back and McHappy belated birthday!!!

Jenny McB said...

Holy crap, tube tops are back? Bad enough that the peasant, smocked tops are back with a lower neckline.

I could never pull off the tube top, b/c I got nothing to hold it up.
Happy Belated birthday

Kendra said...

a mcdreamy crop top?! oh my! that would be too much!!

Dayngr said...

awesome!

Absolutely Bananas said...

mcfreakin' mcfunny, that's what this is! LOVE your list! thanks for the laughs...