Thursday, March 1, 2007

Who are you? (who, who?) Thursday Thirteen #8

I really wanna know!

I recently received a rather cryptic communication letting me know that my blog and I have a fan. This person is not just any ordinary fan, though. My superfan is supposedly a superstar! Could this be true? Could I have attracted the attention of someone that I read about in the tabloids every week? Bon Jovi???? Is it you?? (I always knew you’d find me!)

Cryptic communications to the Nancy Drew and to the we-all-know-what-curiosity-did-to-the Cat in me are just plain torture. I admit, I lack some of the patience virtue. I like to know things and I like to know them now. No dilly-dally. I like to know what’s going on and I like to be ready for whatever it is.

All of this, of course, got me thinking about what I would need if I were going to meet and maybe even hang out with my superfan. You know, for the paparazzi and all.

Today is Thursday Thirteen and here’s mine...


Thirteen Things I NEED TO KNOW BEFORE I MEET MY SUPERFAN


1. Do I need underpants or will we be getting out of the car commando-style?

2. I’m pretty sure I will have to learn how to order something at Starbucks.

3. If we’re wearing halter tops, I will most definitely need a boob job. There’s only so much a Wonder Bra can do with AAs.

4. Do I need a dress made of feathers, biodegradable material or tin foil? Goth, ghetto, preppy, bling, hobo, leather or fur?

5. Are we going clubbing to the VIP room of a celebrity hotspot full of underaged Pop Tarts? If so, then I will definitely have to learn how to hold my liquor.

6. If I can’t do #5, then I will need one of those big, burly bodyguards to carry me back to the car. You know, in case I get “exhausted” and just simply fall asleep in the bar :) (hey, that could happen!)

7. Can I bring the kids a la Brangelina style? Do I need a nanny manny?

8. Where do I get one of those small animals to carry around with me everywhere I go?

9. Big sunglasses! Gotta have those.

10. A bump. Every time all the glam celeb girls eat a cheeseburger, the tabloids speculate if they are pregnant or not. If there’s no one trying to photograph the bump, then you are not a superstar.

11. Do I need some tattoos? A nose job? An eating disorder? Bigger lips? A new wave religion?

12. Do I need to be more green? Drive a hybrid? Maybe we’re taking the Porsche for a spin?

13. No matter who it is, I will definitely need to color this gray streak that keeps appearing in my hair.

Soooo much to do...sooooo little time.



Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!



8 comments:

The GateKeeper said...

Okay, I've got an answer to all your questions. No wait . . . I got nothing. Hehehe. But keep yer underwear on and don't bother with that fur ball for the purse. LOL. You're way too much fun.

Crystal said...

LOL Your list was great. :)

Please, no commando. Or at least, if you do, keep it out of camera's way!

Shoshana said...

LOL. I love this list! I wish I had a fun, then I could wonder....

I'd go commando style, then you and your fun can head to Victoria's Secret and shop...but only if he's a girl, and a nice one at that.

Jessica Morris said...

too funny - crystal is a friend of mine and she told me about 'someones cool tt list' - turns out she was talking about yours!!
I am FINALLY getting around to looking at ppls TT!!

Was my contest confusing??
Are you going to join the blog party?

Kathy said...

Your list is hilarious! I hope once you find out who your superfan is, you let the rest of us know! Pronto!

Thanks for stopping by!

Steph said...

Don't forget if you're going to go "A-La Britney" and "A-La Paris" you'll need a wax job. You don't want Perez Hilton circling your stubble in red... :o)

Great list! Thanks for stopping by last week! Sorry for the slow visiting, was out of town for a kiddie thing!

The Freelance Cynic said...

Wow. The only people who comment on my blog mysteriosly are the ones leaving death threats...

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