Monday, March 19, 2007

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

Ok, not literally, but I feel like that :)

This weekend I became a grandma to Middle Daughter’s “Baby Think It Over” doll. If I didn’t just have oral surgery, I’d probably be more tolerant of the doll and the idea.

“Baby Think It Over” dolls are given to teenagers to make them think twice about having a baby. I’m still trying to figure out why any teenager would want to have a baby in the first place. I’m thinking if they were hell bent on that idea, this doll isn’t going to change their minds.

Middle Daughter got the doll on Friday and for the weekend, had to take this doll with her everywhere she went and take care of it as if it were a real baby. It doesn’t eat, need diaper changes or want to play. It just sits there like an incredibly heavy lump most of the day. All night long (and if you let its head tip backwards), it screeches like a wild animal in pain. I have four children. Never once in my almost 16 years (times 4) of parenthood have I heard a child make a noise that sounds quite like that.

The only way to stop this screeching is to actually get the sleeping teenager responsible for the doll to wake up and insert the magic key into the doll’s back. By the time Middle Daughter accomplished this task, everyone in the house was awake including the barking dogs and wheel running hamsters.

Just in case anyone didn’t know this, teenaged girls are pretty crabby in general. If you make them tired or sleep deprived, they get exceptionally cranky. Multiply this times three (the number of crabby teenaged girls in my house) and you have the formula for a very long weekend full of non-stop bickering.

I’m going to propose that a better way to get teenagers to think about not having a baby would be to forget the doll. Instead, they should make a list of parents whose babies have colic and send the teenagers over to their house to babysit while mom and dad go out to dinner.

Little Daughter had colic. She screamed uncontrollably from 6 pm to midnight every single night for months. You could set your watch by it and there was nothing that you could do. That, combined with two other toddlers (including one who bit) was so awful that no one wanted to even come to our house, much less babysit for me. I could have had a night out and prevented a teenager from having a baby all in one shot.

Little Daughter is now one of the most pleasant people you will ever meet, “Baby Think It Over” is going to someone else’s house today, Middle Daughter decided she’d much rather sleep than have a baby and I am thankful because I am so not ready to have anything (even the doll) calling me Grandma.


Jenny said...

My sister had to bring one of those home. I think she failed cause all it did was cry.

NWO said...

I don't think a week is long enough. They should have to be in charge of the doll for a whole school year!

Jessica Morris said...

Are you ok!? I hope everything is good and you're just busy!! Miss your posts!!