Flipped Off

I’ve been going to the pool the last two nights going swimming with the kids. I use the word “swimming” loosely. Technically, I’m in the water, but my actual swimming skills are very weak. Hopefully, I’ll never fall off a boat.

I am, though, an excellent floater.

Last night was float night at the pool. Since I am able to float quite well without the assistance of large air-filled plastic balloons, I just decided to go without. I also had 7 kids with me and it wouldn’t fit in the car. My weirdo magnetic personality attracted yet another one when some extremely large hairy guy flipped off his float and fell right on top of me in the pool! (How do you flip off a float?) I don’t really like being underwater much less being forced underwater by large, hairy man and I had my contact lenses in. When I got up I still had them, but my mascara ran and I had black smears all over my face. He apologized for flipping off and I should have flipped him off, but I didn’t. I’m too nice.