Left Hands and Leftovers

My hubby and I spent four hours on Sunday in the kitchen cooking up a storm. He’s quite creative with food and we’re going to put together a book of his recipes and sell it online in order to make enough money to buy the way-too-expensive-for-us house that’s for sale down the street with four bedrooms and a huge kitchen. That’s the plan, anyway.

He chopped, cooked, stirred, sauced and I wrote things down. It’s no secret that I’m dangerous in the kitchen and some of my best accidents have occurred there. Once when I was trying to broil steaks, the digital clock on the stove starting beeping and spelled out the word “FIRE” (very clever!). Sure enough, there was indeed fire. I can’t condone trying that with your own oven to see if you have that feature.

I do consistently cut and burn myself while cooking. I used to think I was just culinarily challenged, but then we saw some documentary on TV that says that left-handed people, like me, are much more likely to be injured in the kitchen, especially when cooking with right-handed people. It said that knives, like scissors, are actually designed for use in the right hand. They will slip more easily if used in the left hand.

I am actually mixed-handed, along with most of the people who think they are left-handed. Right-handed people are typically strong right, meaning they use their right hand/right side of their body for predominately everything. Very, very few people are strong left.

I use my left hand for writing and eating, but I use my right hand for other things like throwing a ball. This is different than being ambidextrous where you can use either hand for any task. I can’t. There are things I do with the left and things I do with the right and I can’t switch between the two. I’ve tried to figure out a logical order to when I use which hand, but I haven't been able to. Occasionally, I try something and it doesn’t feel correct in either hand. Chopping with knives feels wrong no matter which hand I use, along with any kind of sports that require a racquet, hammers and guitars. I just have to face the fact that I will never be able to give Wolfgang Puck, Andre Agassi, Bob Villa or Richie Sambora a run for their money.

The left-handed thing sounds plausible enough, so I’ll stick with that as the reason I’m a disaster in the kitchen. The truth, of course, is I hate to cook. The only left thing in our kitchen is leftovers.