Friday, April 4, 2008

Paperback Writer

Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?

It took me years to write, will you take a look?

The past few days I’ve been eluding towards a project I’m starting. It’s still in the preliminary stages, but I’ve decided I am going to write a book.

I want to be a paperback writer. Paperback wriiiiter!

Blogging is “write” up my alley and I’ve been inspired by another "Fab Four", blogging mistressesJen Lancaster, Melanie Hauser, Lori Jakiela and Stephanie Klein, to take it to the next step and write a memoir.

I don’t care for hardcover books, so there’s no doubt it will be a paperback. Oversized and printed on crisp white, fresh smelling paper, it will bear a cover nothing short of fabulous. It might even have glitter. I’m not sure yet.

“Buy me!”, it will scream and juicy, Catbooting secrets will be revealed to you.

It will be about relationships gone bad, deceitful people, emotional vampires and oh yes, delicious revenge! I will share my tales of love, life and the pursuit of catbooting any trash that gets in my way of happiness. Yes, JessiCat will be spilling her snarky stories.

I even have the puuuuurfect title...”Knee Deep In The Hoopla” coined in the 1980’s by Starship. I’ll have to see if I can use it, because it’s perfect for me.

When most people have had enough of something, they make a hand gesture right under their chin or over their head indicating they’ve had it, well, up to “there”.

Me? My line is and always has been marked by the top of my Catboots. High heeled and black, they rise up my leg gently hugging the curves of my calves, stopping at the knee.

MEOW!!!!! When I wear them, I am sleek, courageous and able to pounce if need be. I am JessiCat.

The boots allow me wade me through a lot of shit, but if I find myself “knee deep in your hoopla”, you are asking for an ass full of cat scratch fever. Sorry, but really, it’s your own fault. up that mamba! The Rock Chick’s gonna dance here, so please clear off my stage. It may seem irresponsible, but I have to write the page.


Anonymous said...

I'll buy the first copy! Autographed too! :)
Good luck! I'm a champ of an editor, so if you need any of that done, it happens to be my specialty here at work and pretty much all around.


Anonymous said...

I'll buy the first copy! Autographed too! :)
Good luck! I'm a champ of an editor, so if you need any of that done, it happens to be my specialty here at work and pretty much all around.


Malcolm said...

Just from reading your blog I can tell you have some great stories to tell. Good luck with the book!

I know that a lot of people hate "We Built This City", but it's a guilty pleasure of mine.

Sassy Mama Bear said...

You know I'd read that book, want it autographed first though.
Bet you finish writing a book before me, the Queen of what was I thinking?

The Rock Chick said...

bsmommy: excellent! I'm sure I will need an editor. I can get verrrry wordy! LOL And everyone who wants one will get autographed copies. The fact that anyone would even want my autograph would make me grab a sharpie!

malcolm: I love "WE Built This City"! It's one of my faves. If I like I song, I like it and I don't feel guilty. I took a bit of teasing when my friends discovered I have MMMBop on my iPod and that's exactly what I told them....It's MY iPod!

sassy: oh it's not a race and I still have to actually put it on paper. I'll probably be collecting social security by the time that happens, but I'm gonna try!

Vixen said...

You may not have noticed it on my blog, as I only mentioned it 20 or 30 times, but I was a a proofreader by trade for nearly 15 years....I would do yours for free if it means I get a sneak peek.

Go for it! That is awesome.

Jessica Morris said...

Ohhhh - I want an autographed copy too!
Please add pictures to your book. :) I love pictures in books *blush*

Oh - and I am glad to hear your son was once a drama queen too!! Hopefully these days will end soon and will have the emotionally stable house I dream of :-p

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

I am excited for you, I am sure it will be an awesome read.

Jamie said...

Just send me the expurgated material you are saving for the second book that you sell for millions once you get famous with book number one.

Crystal said...

That's a book I'd love to read! Good luck. :)