Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Stand By Your Man

As I flipped through one TV channel after another, everyone seemed to be talking about the prostitution predicament involving New York Governor Eliot Spitzer.

Discussions steered towards questioning why someone in his position would hire prostitutes. Since I think it’s a really nasty thing to do, it is a fair question, I suppose.

Several authorities on the subject debated on whether the cause was too much testosterone (which they could tell he had because of his neanderthal man type facial features), an adrenaline addiction, some leftover caveman genetic instinct to spread his seed or perhaps a secret, kinky overwhelming fetish that perhaps his wife would not fulfill.

Maybe he’s like Rachael Ray’s husband! The tabloids report he likes to do weird things with feet and get spat on by prostitutes!

No one suggested the cause could be plain old idiocy, so I’m just going to throw that in myself.

Whatever his reasons, I have no doubt that Mr. Spitzer knows what he did is not only wrong, it’s illegal, and not to mention gross. I don’t care how high priced a hooker is, they’re still a hooker. (And there were at least 8 before you, Client #9.) Ick.

Step down. Move on, Mr. Governor. Your wife might forgive you, but I seriously doubt the public will. An affair, maybe, but prostitutes? I don’t think so.

I am wondering (along with all the news reporters and sex and relationship experts in the country)if his wife will stay with him.

There was a lot of people questioning Mrs. Spitzer for standing by her man during his big announcement yesterday. What’s wrong with that woman? How could she do that?

I don’t think that’s all that hard to answer. She would stand there because, oh, I don’t know...maybe she loves him? Hard to believe, right? She might be completely pissed off, but love doesn’t turn off so easily.

Why is it that when one spouse does something like this, the other spouse is criticized for staying in the relationship? If they want to stay and try to work it out, that’s their business and it’s honorable, in my opinion.

It’s supposed to be for better or worse. Granted, this is pretty bad, but he did it, not her. The public should kick him out of office, but if she doesn’t want to kick him to the curb does that mean there’s something wrong with her?

I don’t think so.

One reporter asked a relationship expert if a marriage in this predicament can be salvaged. The therapist responded that, statistically, it was unlikely.

I don’t think statistics can be applied to any individual marriage. Every relationship is different. I totally believe that if she loves him more than he hurt her and he stops doing what he did, the relationship can completely be saved and even move forward in time.

It won’t be the same as it was, but that change might be a good thing. You know, considering he was hiring prostitutes with his daughters’ college fund, after all.

What do you think? Do you think there’s something wrong with Mrs. Spitzer if she ends up standing by her man?


Rockycat said...

Personally, infidelity was and would be a deal-breaker for me. However, there's nothing wrong with Mrs. Spitzer if she decides to forgive him - we all have our own personal "deal-breakers", and maybe infidelity is not one for her. Heck, maybe she was playing around, too!

Jessica Morris said...

Love isn't a feeling, and although what he did was wrong, and humiliating to her, good for her for standing by her husband!!

So you know what else is funny about us?!?! You know the necklace you ordered from Crystal? I ordered the other one that she posted on her blog in the same post... I emailed her (b/c I'd seen your comment telling her to check her email) and I said "Please don't tell me the other Jessica wanted that necklace!" And she said you wanted the other one. How weird is that?!

The Rock Chick said...

rocky: oh, I can see that being a total deal breaker, no doubt! It was for me with my first husband. I just can't see why anyone would imply there is something wrong with the person because maybe it isn't a deal breaker for them....

Jessica: We have some kind of Jessica connection going on! I got the necklace I orderd today and it's BEAUTIFUL! Crystal is so talented. This is the third piece I've ordered from her and each one is more fabulous than the last one!

Sarah said...

I don't think anything is wrong with her for trying, in fact if she darted out the door instantly one might think she was waiting for a way out.

Sadly I think the statistic is based on the fact that she will start doubting herself, wondering why she wasn't enough, and she will have a hard time trusting that where he going and what he is doing is indeed just that. I commend her for maintaining her composure. Hopefully his resignation will give them an opportunity to work on their relationship.

Damien Riley said...

My wife (Sarah) is far too nice. This guy has been taking advantage a long time. I think she needs to split and see if she even wants to come back. But like you said Jessica, love is love. If she loves him truly, maybe she will try and work it out.

Di said...

Thank you for that. I am so sick of reading blogs that put Mrs. Spitzer down for standing by her husband. Whether she eventually leaves or not is her business. But I don't think that on top of the terrible hurt she is feeling she needs people telling her to take him for all he's got, dump the bastard or whatever. It's her decision. Lots of marriages have weathered the storm of infidelity and stupidity. She just needs to be true to herself and do what is right for her.

I hope she's got some wonderfully supportive girlfriends!

katelynjane said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with her standing behind her guy. It takes huge guts, I'm sure, to stand there beside him at those meetings.

One of my moms friends has 9 kids. Her husband left her for another woman and refused to pay child support even though she hadn't' worked in 20-something years. He stayed with that woman for quite a while (over a year I think) but when he realized she wasn't' what he had thought he was looking for, he asked his wives forgiveness and she took him back. They are happier than ever now and even though their marriage needs work, they are both willing to make the changes it requires.

I don't think I would have the strength to do that, but good for those who do!