Tuesday, March 4, 2008

She's Got Legs

I know I’m like a week behind on this subject, but, you know, life happens while I’m trying to write blog entries.

I didn’t actually see the show, but I heard that fashion guru Tim Gunn was on Oprah telling us “old and in need of a new wardrobe” women over 40 (gasp!) that they should never wear horizontal stripes, jackets that hit at mid-thigh, pleated pants, double breasted blazers, low rise jeans and...capri pants.

CAPRI PANTS? Why shouldn’t women “over 40” wear capri pants?

I am over 40. BARELY. But, I am over 40.

What am I supposed to wear in warm weather? Short shorts? Miniskirts? Hey, maybe I can just borrow my grandmother’s babushka and tie it around my ass!

I’ll agree that not everyone should wear everything and that there are some things that no woman should ever wear.

A dirty and ill-fitting t-shirt that a woman was wearing at the grocery store comes to mind. It read “I got crabs at Joe’s Fish House!

Nobody should appear in public in a shirt like that unless maybe you are escaping with your life from a house fire or some other disaster. Even then, I would say you probably shouldn’t have something in your house like that you could grab, even in an emergency.

But capri pants?

I’ve had 4 children. I’ve also had 13 abdominal surgeries which has left my stomach looking like a secret military map in some war zone with what’s left of my belly button representing ground zero. It’s not good.

This is why I don’t wear tummy exposing clothing. I tried, but I couldn’t find any accessories to compliment the airbrush tank I had to carry around with me.

But, I am 5’9” and 130 lbs. and I can still do my Catboots proud. The stomach may be gone, but I’ve got legs. I know how to use them and nobody wearing this outfit is going to tell me that I shouldn’t wear capri pants.

I’d like to write more, but I’m busy lifting up my mid-thigh length jacket so this guy can kiss my Juniors Size 7 capri pant loving ass.


Sarah said...

Well said!! I hadn't heard the "over 40" disclaimer in the past, but did hear something about short stumpy women like myself not wearing capris and couldn't agree more with what you are saying. I mean seriously, I live in the desert where it will be 115 degrees in a few months. If I put on a pair of shorts I won't leave my own closet let alone the house, so if my capris happen to leave me looking shorter and stumpier so be it.

Malcolm said...

After reading Todd's comments, I wouldn't be surprised if Laura Petrie was hunting him down at this very moment. Capri pants are very sexy on a woman who can pull off the look, I don't care how old she is.

Also, I was surprised to find out that are 5'9". For some reason, I pictured you to be about 5'4" or something. It's like Mitch Albom in reverse. I used to think he was over 6 ft tall. I saw him once in person and he's barely 5'5".

The Freelance Guru said...

Are there any rules about 24 year old gurus?

Jenny McB said...

I know...hot pants! Too funny.

The Rock Chick said...

sarah: Personally, I think capri pants flatter most people. They come in so many different cuts and fabrics! What a silly, silly man!

malcolm: I'll even loan Laura Petrie my Catboots if she needs a pair. Actually, I think I'd rather be 5'4". I REALLY like high heels, but then I tower over everyone, including the hubby. He doesn't care, but it bothers me :)

freelance guru: yes...no spandex. Ever :)

jenny mcB: I like hot pants, but my hair is getting grayer by the minute and it's hard to keep it entirely brown. I will make a fashion rule that if you have gray hair, you shouldn't wear hotpants!

Dear Dora said...

Oh Sweet Child! How entirely endearing you are. And, so entirely right about taking advice from a man who dresses like that. A woman should also never have her hair cut by any hairdresser with a rag-mop for hair! Those fashion designers wouldn't be able to dictate fashion, if WE didn't fall for their ideas. But, do avoid that spandex. No human should wear it! Excellent post.
Kiss, kiss

Di said...

I wonder if that guru could do something about teens in hip-hugging jeans that leave people in their path thinking about their plumber due to the butt-crack exposure when they do something adventurous like walk or bend down. Is there an age at which the butt crack is acceptable?
I'm wearing my capris even though I'm 45 and haven't seen a junior size 7 since I was 12. I am wearing them, however, with golf shoes and goofy socks!

Robyn Jones said...

LOL! I agree heartly...AND that guy is SCARY.. I wouldn't be taking too much fashion advice from him....

Crystal said...

That's dumb. And he's weird!

You wear those capris, girlfriend. I'm sure you rock them out in style. I personally hate my legs. They remind me of a chicken. But it's too hot here to really care.

I will wear capris as long as I want, and I will also wear low rise jeans as long as I can find them! I can not STAND waist bands on my natural waist. Gives me the heebie jeebies.

Anonymous said...

I HATE HATE HATE age-specific fashion advice. It's ridiculous! Women over 40 shouldn't? Did I miss something, does every woman over 40 have the exact same figure, lifestyle, or sense of style? Because those are the factors, NOT AGE, which should determine what a woman wears. I'm over forty, barely, and I wear not only capris, but low cut jeans, babydolls, and miniskirts. As long as my figure is good and my face doesn't look totally ravaged I will continue to do so. I'm single, don't have teenage kids to potentially embarrass with my youthful style AND I'm a grown a** woman. I decide what I wear, not some stuffy "stylist" who appears to need a stylist himself.