We Built This City

As predicted, I spent most of the weekend at the office assembling my small mountain of office furniture. 14 pieces down...one printer stand/file cabinet to go.

I enlisted the help of the hubby with this project. I normally don’t subject him to any kind of a “Honey Do” list because, well, neither one of us is very handy around the house, but we can both build furniture! Armed with screw guns, we headed off to my office in the JessiCatmobile, ready to tackle the mountain together.

We weren’t there fifteen minutes when I heard a key turning in the front door. Uh Oh. The door swung open and in walked my arch coworking enemy, The Goonan, dressed to kill wearing a too tight t-shirt tucked into too short shorts. He had his white socks hiked up to his knees and to top it off, he was wearing lime green baseball cap which really did complement his red hair at all. He completed the look with a portable tool box. I’m glad he did because it really pulled everything together. People underestimate the importance of accessorizing.

I don’t know if any of you have ever seen a band called The Spazmatics. There’s different variations of them all over the country. They call themselves “Nerds That Rock”, and they do. Goonan doesn’t, but with that outfit, I expected him to bust out in a rendition of “We Built This City” or something. Good Lord.

Appearing two second behind him was some dorky friend of his that Goonan touted as “an engineering genius”. Not sure we exactly needed a genius to put furniture together, but when Goonan said “He is to engineering what I am to the insurance world”, I knew we were in big trouble. I told them to put the bookcases together. I figured even if they put them together upside-down, they’d still work.

The hubby and I went into the other room to start assembling the desks. When I concentrate on something, I sometimes get a sort of tunnel vision and totally lose sight of anything else that is happening around me. Someone will then say something or touch me and I am easily startled.

I had just completely stripped one screw with an overzealous use of my electric screwdriver and was concentrating on the second one when Goonan started hovering over me. I didn’t realize he was behind me and when he touched my back, I jumped and hit hubby in the hand with the screw gun. Ouch. Poor hubby.

Some might say Poor Goonan, too, because I laid into him like nobody’s business. After he knocked me over trying to hug me and I cut my foot on the heavy-duty-under-the-office-chair-plastic-thing, he was told never to touch me again. Did he think I was joking? Finding myself once again knee deep in Goonan’s hoopla, I let loose and I think I even scared the hubby with that outburst.

He crept back into the other room with his tail between his legs moaning about how he gave up his Saturday to get brownie points and now he won’t get any.

Brownie points? Maybe if you’d stop e-mailing vile, racist things, screwing everything up, learn something about insurance and do your job you wouldn’t need any brownie points, huh? That dufus just doesn’t have a clue.

Goonan’s friend assembled three bookcases and fortunately, they had to go. The hubby and I finished the rest on Saturday and Sunday and like I said, I only have one piece left to go. I’m glad it’s done. I can think of much better ways to spend a weekend.