1999

I like to travel back in time and reminisce. I know some people who don’t like to do this and I can’t understand why. I’m crazy about family reunions, class reunions, and looking at old pictures and yearbooks. Sometimes, I just sit and try to remember what I was doing at certain times.

In the summer of ‘99, I was, as was every good Rock Chick, obeying Prince and partying because Y2K was about to cause the world to come to an end.

In the summer of ‘89, I was a ponytailed, poodle-skirted, singing character waitress, slinging bad jokes and even worse cheeseburgers to a crowd just wanting a short trip back to the summer of ’59.

In the summer of 79, I was graduating from 8th grade, ready to take the real life High School Musical scene by storm.

In the Summer of 69, I was three. I can’t remember what I was doing. Probably a lot of standing on my momma’s porch.

I also like history but to go back even father in time, I would need a Marty McFly “Back To The Future” time travel machine. Since those don’t exist, I had to use my minivan and drive to the Illinois/Wisconsin border to experience the year 1599 at The Bristol Renaissance Faire.

I adore Renaissance Faires. What’s not to like? They are a smorgasbord of jugglers, med wrestlers, magicians, dancers, singers, acrobats, fire eaters, musicians, queens, fairies, tiaras made out of flowers, jousters, fencers, and belly dancers! That’s definitely my kind of place!

I laughed when a man on stilts kept walking right over Little Daughter.

I listened as a the sounds of heaven spilled from a harp.

I savored every bite of my renaissance faire delicacy, vegetable tempura, and I blushed when a street beggar took me by the hand, dropped to his knees and said he had heard the whispers and had been waiting all day for the fair maiden wearing green pants and a crown of flowers to arrive.

That was me!

He summoned his other beggar friends who also quickly bowed before me and asked, “Tell me, Me Lady, what be thy tide?”

I speak a little “Renaissance Faire” because I was in a Madrigal Choir in college. It was one of the most fun groups I’ve ever performed with and I loved the costumes, the merriment and even the slighty, naughty double entendre style humor.

“Oh, silly fool, you bow before none other than The Rock Chick”. I replied.

I’m not sure he was supposed to break character, but he smiled a bit. I’m guessing they didn’t have too many rock chicks in those days, especially ones wearing lime green capri pants.

My favorite act of the day was this trio of acrobats, called Barely Balanced, who not only humorously performed unbelievable feats of balance and human strength, they juggled knives while doing it.

I stared, fascinated, but wondered just how exactly this was something they decided they could do? There’s a handful of people in this world that I love and trust completely, but I’m not sure I’d let any of them juggle knives over my body, let alone while in this position.



Lately, I’ve been on a “trying new things” kick and quite an opportunity presented itself at the Faire! They had elephant rides and I had never done that before!

Despite the hubby’s raised eyebrow, I climbed aboard the elephant with three of my kids and the first thing I noticed, besides the smell, was that it was a lot higher upon the elephant than it appeared to be on the ground.

Here’s a view from the ground.



Here’s my view from atop the elephant.


See what I mean? I’m a little nervous about heights, but did feel some security from the little gate they put around us. When the elephant starting moving, slowly swaying it’s huge trunk and hips, my anxiety turned into complete panic. I didn’t like it at all and all I could think of was this huge animal running amok and taking off through the Faire at full gallop while my children and I clung to this huge beast, hanging on for our lives while the policeman hubby ran behind in the foot chase of his life.

If you’ve even wondered what goes through the mind of someone having a panic attack, there you have it.

Fortunately, the elephant ride didn’t last very long. I’m sure I won’t be doing that again. Ah well, when my children are reminiscing one day, they’ll have “mom freaking out on the elephant” to remember. Good, clean summer fun! What more could anyone ask for?

I’m anxiously awaiting next summer and next year’s Renaissance Faire, though. Every year, there’s different things to see and do. If you have one near you, definitely check it out. Tell them “Me Lady, The Rock Chick” sent you.! Just stay off the elephants ;)