Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Big Girls Don't Cry

Well, yes they do, but they also RANT! I don’t have to tell you how much I enjoy a good rant, either. On a blog, not necessarily in real life.

Jamie tagged me with The Moaning Meme, a blogging phenomenon created by one of my most favorite ranters, The Freelance Cynic. Freelance believes that by being nice in blogs we are denying our readers the very one thing that makes us interesting -his words- ”our whining, moaning and complaining selves”.

That you, Freelance. I couldn’t agree more. Exposure to one more “count my blessings” meme today would assuredly make me hurl.

It’s been mentioned to me that in order not to go “Psycho”, I blog as therapy and I probably do. It’s WAY cheaper and this way I don’t have to deal with someone constantly checking their watch while they pretend to listen to me rant for 45 minutes. I can’t seem to bring myself to burden my friends with my moanings, no matter how legitimate, so in order to reduce the pressure on the cooker, I blow off some steam in a blog. It totally works for me! Today I am hovering in the “take cover, she is going to blow” zone, anyway, so this will be fun.

So here we go...The Freelance Cynic’s “The Moaning Meme”...

List 5 people who will be annoyed that I tagged them. I can’t knowingly annoy people unless they’ve annoyed me first and none of these people have ever annoyed me, by any means. But I’m suspicious, if let loose, each one of these people could come up with a delicious rant! And yes, I know there are six of them :) Too bad.

Jessica Morris @ Life As I See It
Kendra@ Tales of Former Michigander
FatBlokeThin @ FatBlokeThin
Shelly @ This Eclectic Life
Damien @ Riley Central.
@ Something for your “Sight Eyes”

List 4 things that should go into room 101 and be removed from the face of the earth. I have no idea what Room 101 is, but I think I get the idea :)

Scrap-booking parties, stampin’ up parties, candle parties, pampered chef parties, lingerie parties, tupperware parties or any kind of home party where the sole purpose for my invitation is to buy something so you can accumulate free crap that you don’t need in the first place. Just tell me what it is you want. I’d rather just buy you the crap myself than sit through another one of those things.

Baby and Wedding Showers. I know you are getting married/having a baby or maybe even both at the same time. Since I love you, I have every intention of getting you a gift to commemorate this event(s). Please don’t thank me for this gift by forcing me to attend some luncheon where I will be spending an entire afternoon making small talk with your crazy aunt while trying to guess how many M&M’s are in baby bottle. It’s also not fun to “ooh and ahh” over gifts that we all already know you're getting because they were marked “purchased” on the list we’re supposed to select from at the store where you directed us to purchase these gifts.

Tongue piercings. This is just nasty and I can’t even speak to anyone who has a barbell through their tongue. ACK!

Cotton Balls and Maury Povich. I admit to being terrified by cotton balls, ridiculous as it sounds. I was better until somebody sent me this “Maury Povich Cures Your Phobia” video the other day and now they horrify me again. What the heck was Maury thinking by having a cotton ball man chase her around? And whatever possessed me to watch this? Now I'm having nightmares. In case you are wondering, cotton balls do make a sound!

List 3 things that people do that make me want to shake them violently.

Getting in my personal space if I haven’t told you that I like you, love you, we are friends or that there is something more to our relationship than merely being forced to be in the same place at the same time, please stay more than 5 inches away from my face.

Getting inappropriately involved with people other than their spouse.

Coming over to my house on false pretenses. I thought we were going to sit and chill, maybe even have a margarita. Instead, I get subjected to a three hour rant (I’m not kidding) about everything from getting no respect as PTA President to the mother-in-law who won’t give up her secret taco recipe and oh, would you believe her husband actually likes to go fishing for an hour or two on the weekend instead of doing her “Honey Do” list? I thought I had problems. How does she manage to survive with all this pressure? People: this is exactly what BLOGS are for!

Or worse, people who you haven't seen for a while who call you and want to "get together". Except they don't really want to get together. They want to sell you something, like Discovery Toys, which by the way are supposed to "sell themselves" or so I was told. If that's true, then why did you make me shop, clean and cook you dinner and then ruin my evening by trying to sell them to me? ARRRGGGGGHHHH!

List 2 things I find myself moaning about:

People overstepping their lines with me.

My anxiety issues which seem to be at a Guinness record setting level lately.

What 1 thing do the above answers tell me about myself.

I am far too stressed out. Perhaps I should reconsider my idea that blogging as therapy doesn’t work as well as I think it does:)

What do you think? Play along if you'd like! Here are the official rules:

* Link to the original meme at freelancecynic.com so people know what it's all about!
* Be as honest as possible, This is about letting people get to know the real you!
* Try not to insult anyone - unless they really deserve it or are very, very ugly!
* Post these rules at the end of every meme!


Damien said...

Ha! Those are freagin good! It'll be a tough act to follow but I'll give it a shot! Thanks for the tag! Very kind of you.

The Rock Chick said...

Damine: Oh, I know you have it in you :) Looking forward to reading it :)

The Freelance Cynic said...

The best ranting moaning meme I've seen so far.
Even though you missed off the rules. You rebel :)

The Rock Chick said...

Freelance: Uh oh! I did leave off the rules at the end! I have appropriately adjusted my post. I am a bit of a rebel, but I do like to play fair :) I think I've abided by them, though.

This was a great idea and your compliment is much appreciated.

FatBlokeThin said...

Hey JRC,

Why did you think I wouldn't play along - I hate it when people assume things about me (oops, started too early...lol!).

I will need to give this a great deal of thought as I spend my life spewing buddhist clap trap-about positive thought and Karma - i should have given up moaning...

I'll try and make it worth reading!

The Rock Chick said...

FatBlokeThin: OHHHH, I figured you'd play along or I wouldn't have tagged ya! Just didn't want anyone to feel obligated. Sometimes I get tagged for things I just don't feel like writing and then I feel guily and can't sleep for a week. (ok, not really!)

Hey, there's nothing wrong with positive thoughts and Karma. When I'm not crabby, I'm totally into that!

Jessica Morris said...

cooool - love this one!! I shall be thinking about it and post soon =)

I feel so bad - I thought I'd come by to say hi to you and let you know I was home... guess I didn't! I have enjoyed getting caught up on your blog!

The Rock Chick said...

Jessica: I'm very glad you are back! Even though we've never actually met, I missed you!!! ;)

Anxious to see your ranting!

Jamie said...

Wow! When I tagged you, I expected great ... but this is pure genius. When it comes to rant and whine, you are an absolute master of the form.

The Rock Chick said...

Jamie: Thank you!!! It's best to stick with what you're good at, don't you think :) Thanks for the tag, too! I really enjoyed writing this!! Freelance had a great idea here!


Starrlight said...

My ex boyfriend has cotton ball phobia too. The best part of that phobia? He is from Greorgia, land of King Cotton :P

JAM said...

Now that you have that out of your system, you should immediately take out pen and paper and write out five things you are truly thankful for.

By the way. I've never heard of a cotton ball phobia, but the way they feel does creep me out.

My Number One Daughter has had a life-long fear of clowns, so I guess cotton ball fear isn't outside the realm of possibility.

The Rock Chick said...

JAM: Oh, I'm thankful for everything I have (well, except the cotton ball thing) every single day! I just like to rant :) Once in a while, I do turn my posts from RANTastic to FANtastic.

I can totally understand the clown thing. They are kinda creepy :)

Crystal said...

I saw one of those phobia shows a while back and I had a hard time not crying. The people in the audience laughing at the phobics were so insensitive. I mean, yeah, some of them sound so ridiculous, but until you've experienced a true phobia yourself - you have no idea!

Grrr. Just thought I'd add a little to your rant. ;o)