Tuesday, June 12, 2007

California Dreamin'

You know how I love my celebrities! Once this whole Paris Hilton drama broke, I couldn’t get enough of the news coverage, so I immediately put my sixteen year old daughter on a plane to LAX to cover the story personally for me.
(Ok, not really!)

I did put my daughter on a plane to L.A. last Saturday along with my ex-husband, who (by the way) I think is an ass.

Actually, he is an ass. I’m sure saying “I think he’s one”, though, is less libelous, no? Hey, if it waddles like a duck...

When I married my ex-husband, I hadn’t quite yet completely developed the sociopathic sniffing techniques that I honed during our very short-lived wedded union.

While we dated, he was quite charming. He was the executive chef at the restaurant where I was working as a waitress. He worked hard, he liked to do the things that I liked to do and when I found out I was pregnant, he wanted to get married and live happily ever after.

We got along really well until our wedding day when he decided that he didn’t feel like going to our wedding reception. Seriously. It went downhill from there. Four months later, we were officially divorced, long before the baby even arrived.

He wasn’t all that interested in the baby and just popped up every few months asking if he could see her. I always said yes, because I knew in about a half hour, he’d be gone again. The last few years, though, he’s been a little more interested and does see her for an entire day here and there.

He asked me if he could take our (my) daughter to California for her sixteenth birthday present. He has a lot of family there and they are all very nice people.

I initially said no, (because he’s an ass), but then the pleading started from Oldest Daughter. Please, oh, please, oh please!

She said "Californy is the place I want to be!"
My instincts told me no. Now I say shame on me.

I know my daughter was dreaming “swimming pools and movie stars” and when I grilled him, smooth talker promised me he would take her to Disneyland and here and there and before I knew it, heck, even I wanted to go!

Apparently, my sniffing skills still need some work.

They left on Saturday morning and by Sunday night she was thinking she’d been had. All she had done so far was babysit her cousins while the adults went out to casinos. But, she was excited because they were going to Disneyland the next day. Cool, I thought. She’ll have a good time there.

She called me from Disneyland crying because all he wanted her to do was babysit the little cousins in one area so the adults could go have fun and relax. (He’s on vacation, you know.) She saw nothing and he dropped them off at home later and she ended up baby sitting while they went out again.

Today he was just too tired to take her anywhere and he just wanted her to take her cousins to the park so he could have some quiet time. He also told her that he changed his mind about sightseeing and he just wanted to hang at the house the rest of the week.

This was all sounding too familiar to me so I reminded him she’s not his hired help and perhaps it would be better if he just took her to the airport and put her on a plane back home. I talked to my daughter and she said she is fine, just bored, but she will wait until Saturday to come home as scheduled because she doesn’t want to fly alone.

So, now you’ve heard the story about a gal named Jess
Who met up with a psycho and if you couldn’t guess
She don’t even care if it totally lacks class
When he gets off that plane, she’s gonna kick his ass.

I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes.

Y’all come back now, hear?


Anonymous said...

oh dear lord. an ass and a half.

This Eclectic Life said...

If you'd like, Jessica, I'll get on a plane with you and we'll go get her. Between a Rock Chick and a Red Head, we could knock that a-hole down to size. I'm so sorry for your daughter. I can't tell if I want to get spittin' mad or cry.
my word verification is: iggfuqe
It almost reads like an expletive that could be used here.

Scott said...

What a efin loser. The more I sit here the madder I get, some people just don't deserve to have kids. Some of the best vacations I've ever had were the ones that me and my oldest daughter went on alone, we had some great adventures. Give him a kick in the ass for me too.

Shannon said...

I hear you! My daughter is only 7 but this happens with her pretty much too. I hope your daughter makes it home fine and I'll join the ass kicking brigade too.

shannon said...

Not sure why it never shows my web link... bsmommy99.wordpress.com

Shannon said...

LOVED your comment too! I'm so glad I found you. I never knew there were all these other moms like me (that should be a club name...Moms Like ME). And surprisingly, the Cubs are up there on the list of teams I like as well, so I didn't mind that some people might take my new plates to mean a WHITE Sox fan, that's ok too. I put you on my blogroll! :)

shannon said...

That came out ALL wrong...I blended the Cubs and White Sox into one team...now that might be sacrilege out where you are!!!

Kendra said...

oh wow, i think ass is putting it mildly!! sounds like a good contender for the ass hat awards!!

Jessica Morris said...

Wow - I am so sorry for your daughter!!

There's nothing for anyone other than 1st ... and 1st is pretty sweet - $80,000 in exchange for blogging every day for a year. I am pretty close to 7th place - probably be there by tomorrow night!! Thanks for your support!

Crystal said...

What a jerk!!!

archshrk said...

That's messed up. And it sucks to know your instincts were right but it's important for your daughter to learn for herself who he really is. The worst part is that she'll have a skewed opinion of men in general because of all this. While it may seem good that she sees men as jerks, she may end up settling for the "lesser of two evils" rather than holding out for the right man. Good luck.