Thursday, May 10, 2007

Where Everybody Knows Your Name (Thursday Thirteen #15)

The other day I was at the dentist getting my TMJ splint adjusted. It’s working better than expected and I can completely open my mouth, eat, chew and have no face, neck, shoulder and back pain any more. I even got used to my Angelina lips! This is great news!

The bad news is that since I can do all of these things, the current splint that I was wearing needed to be adjusted. By adjusted, I mean a piece needed to be added to it. Before, it looked like I could have been out in public wearing Invisalign braces that had a Jujube candy stuck to the front. Not real attractive, but my family and friends, in all of their niceness, insisted that it didn’t look bad and they wouldn’t have even noticed it. (sure!).

Anyway, now it looks like Invisalign braces with a mini version of something I saw in a sex toy catalog once. (My husband made me look, I swear!) Forget my Angelina lips, I now look like Little Oral Annie. I am not wearing that in public anymore. Nighttime wear is going to have to be sufficient.

This miniature phallic symbol addition is attached to the mouthpiece and protrudes from my lips by about a half-inch. I asked the dentist if he was serious and he said something that made me cringe worse than the image in the mirror.

“Jessie, it doesn’t look bad at all. No one will notice the difference.”

Yes, they will, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem was he called me “Jessie”.

I’m funny about what people call me. I’m not crazy about the “Jessie” nickname, but my mom is and that’s what she always calls me. I’m used to hearing my immediate family use that name but they are the only people I allow to do so.

Today is Thursday Thirteen and here’s mine....


1. Jess. This is always acceptable.

2. The kids on the block all call me “Miss Jessica”. I didn’t like this at first either, but I’ve gotten used to it. It’s far better than the alternative, which is...

3. Mrs. MyLastName, or even worse, Mrs. MyExHusbandsLastName. I know, it’s polite and yes, I expect my kids to call adults Mrs. Whatever unless directed otherwise. I have asked kids to please call me “Miss Jessica” and have been told their parents won’t let them. Personally, I think it’s impolite to continue to call someone something they have asked not to be called. Just my opinion.

4. Cat or JessiCat. That was one heck of a Halloween costume.

5. Flaca. It means “skinny” in Spanish. My ex-husband still calls me this. Believe me, it’s much nicer than the nicknames I’ve given him.

6. My sister and my former high school swing choir partners call me "Juice Bang”. I know, it sounds perverted, but since I was voted “Most Likely To Become A Nun” in high school, this isn’t the case. Once, in a swing choir and solo competition way back when, I belted out a version of the 1981 hit “Angel of the Morning” which prompted one of the judges (named Betty Bang) to “ooh” and “ahh” and say I sounded better than Juice Newton. Jess sounds like Juice and it kind of took it’s own life from there. When I actually won the competition, they turned into a cheer of sorts on the bus ride home.

Juice Bang, Juice Bang, oooooh, ahhhhhh!
Juice Bang, Juice Bang, oooooh, ahhhhhh!

From that moment on, I was referred to as:
“JuiceBang squared, ooh ahh quantity squared”.

Ahhh, high school! Gotta love it!

7. Jennifer. Since I just dated myself with that song title, I’ll ‘fess up. When I was born in 1966, nobody was named Jessica. Almost everyone, though, was named Jennifer. Until the 80’s trend of naming baby girls Jessica, I was the only one. (Well, ok, there was Jessica Lang, too.) People frequently called me Jennifer in error. It happened so often that I just gave up correcting people and I still answer to that to this day.

8. Remember yesterday's post when I was ranting about my parking ticket? Well, as I said, I used to work as a Community Service Officer. Part of that job was parking and village tag (CITY STICKER!) enforcement. Several times a year we would be forced onto the midnight shift to sneak around checking parked cars for village tags. In order not to fall asleep in the middle of a side street with the car in gear and my foot on the brake (that never happened, I swear!), I wrote tickets. Lots of them. I came in after one shift with 423 parking tickets and earned my police department nickname......Hammer. This was good because if you work in a police department and don’t get a nickname, it means nobody likes you and you probably won’t be there very long. My hubby’s police department nickname is JW (John Wayne), which has been shortened to the more trendy J. Dub.

9. In addition to “Hammer”, when I married JW, I also became known as Mrs. JW by some of our closer police friends. They are also my poker buddies and Mrs. JW is my online poker playing screen name.

10. Dingy. Yes, I’ve had more than a few Edith Bunker moments in my life where I’ve definitely earned myself this nickname.

11. HBD. It’s my hubby’s pet name for me. It means Honey, Baby, Darling. Awwwwwwww!

12. RC or The Rock Chick. I’m totally more of a choir chick, but I have great friends and they know I wannabe so they humor me with this title.

13. Mom. No explanations needed. This one’s my favorite :)

Hope everyone has a very Happy Mother's Day!!!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


Amy said...

Yeah, Mommy definitely wins in my book too!

Stephanie said...

Great list! My name is Stephanie and one summer I was working in an insurance company. A woman there started calling me Jennifer. I don't know why. After 2 weeks of telling her that's not my name, I just started answering to it. Then EVERYONE started calling me that. I still answer to it!!

Mitchypoo said...

I love that story about Juice Bang. Great list! Hope you come visit my TT!

Jessica Morris said...

I get Jennifer too!! weird...

i have to dream up a theme for today!! may take me awhile today!!! =)

KC said...

Love all your names. Great TT
Thanks for stopping by mine. :)

impworks said...

Sounds like it must have been a good halloween costume if you got a name from it :-)

Robin said...

No one ever calls anyone by their last name here in Israel, and even after 16 years of marriage if I hear someone call Mrs.mymarriedname I'm still unlikely to respond!

Starrlight said...

Great list and Happy TT and Mother's Day to you!

Faerylandmom said...

Now THAT is a great T13. I heartily agree with you on the whole "Miss Jessica" thing. I don't like being "Mrs. Mylastname" either, but I'd never hear the "Miss Myfirstname" until I was around southerners at our first duty station in DC. I latched on right away, and have been "Miss Tiff" to all short people since.

I like the idea of respect for elders, but I agree, that if you tell a child they can call you by your first name, the parents should go with it, understanding that you are bestowing respect on their kids as well.

Wow. Long comment eh? Oh well.

Thanks for stopping by today, and like I said, if you have any questions, just ask. :)

Norma said...

That's a lot of names. Come when called.

Thanks for visiting my TT.

This Eclectic Life said...

Hey, when you think of all the names you probably left out, that list is not so long. Reminds me of a song written by the late great Steve Goodman and John Prine. You can hear it here:
It's called "You don't have to call me Darlin', Darlin, but you never even call me by my name."
Good post

Cora Zane said...

#13 is my favorite as well. ^_^ Happy Thursday!

Becka said...

I hear you about the hated nicknames that only immediate family are allowed to call you.

My name is Rebecca, and everyone assumes they can call me Becky. What they don't know is, "Becky" is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. Only my mother, my aunt, and my uncle are allowed to call me this. My grandparents did too, but they're gone now.

Even though "Becka" isn't that far from "Becky", it's still MUCH prefered and in fact, what I go by. So don't ever call me Becky unless you wanna meet your Maker. LOL

Great list.


Cindy said...

However you slice it, Jessica is a BEAUTIFUL name!

Thanks for visiting my TT!

webduck said...

Thanks for visiting my TT too Jessica . My name is Carol, and people always want to call me Karen. I suppose I need to speak LOUDER. LOL Happy TT to ya!

Danica/Dream said...

Love it!! It's nice to know that someone with a "normal" name can also get it messed up. Ahhh, how I used to wish for a normal name. There ain't no such thing.

Kimo & Sabi said...

We gots funny nick names too like...stinky bum, skootchy butt, squirrel boy, poochie bellie, hey you, get down, scardy cat, smelly cat, nip there are so many...

Amy said...

We do the nicknames around here too and I prefer it actually to their real names! But MOM is definitely the best.

Happy Mom's Day!

ancsweetnsassygal said...

WE must be about the same age because I loved that Juice Newton song too. Happy Thursday!

My TT is up also.

Tendrils said...

WHat a cool topic for T13! I'll have to remember that one........ :D

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I grew up in Rolling Meadows, where my family still lives, but I am up near Minneapolis, MN now. :( I miss CHicago and my Super Dawgs! (Have you ever been there?!)

Have a great weekend and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Jessica Morris said...

straight from wikipedia:

"Wine gums (or winegums) are chewy, firm sweets similar to gumdrops, except they are not sugar-coated. They are manufactured from animal gelatin, obtained from rendering of bones, mixed with sweeteners , flavourings and colourings. They are extremely popular in Ireland and the United Kingdom, as well as in Commonwealth nations such as New Zealand, South Africa and Canada, and other northern and middle European countries. Popular brands include Bassett's (or Maynards in the UK and Ireland) and Marks & Spencer. They contain no wine. The name comes from the lingering, subtle fruit flavours that make it "similar to the experience of savouring a fine wine". In reference to this, the sweets have the names of alcoholic drinks on them, for example port, gin, rum and hock. According to Cadbury Schweppes[1], red and black are the most popular colours."

The bone thing is pretty gross... never knew that before!!

Tendrils said...

Maurie and Florie are the names of the dogs on the roof! :) (Named after the owners) Have you seen The Hot Dog Show on PBS? It features the best hot dog places in the US.....and there is SUPERDAWG! Man, I love that place! I brought my son there this spring for his 1st Super Dawg (he's 18 months) He LOVED it! I wish I lived that close to it!!!!!! :) Yummy!

Tink said...

I like JessiCat, would love to see that costume!
Thanks for visiting my TT.

Lady G~ said...

Great list! I would have to agree with you on #3. My children are 19, 18, 17, 13 & 10. All their friends call me Mrs. MyFirstName. Funny thing is, that's not even my real first name. LOL! I really dislike my name. Out of respect for my mom, I've not changed it. But I was given a nickname by some co-workers YEARS ago and that name stuck. I like that one much better. :o)

We have a Flaca too. Except she doesn't like to be called that. It brings to much attention to being a flaca. She's 18 and doesn't weigh 100 soak and wet. Very high metabolism though. :o)

So you were most likely to become a nun. Interesting, cause I had entertained thoughts of being a nun when I was younger. That's until I decided I wanted to get married and have LOTS of children!

I think that Jessica and Rock Chick ROCKS! ;o)

I have to say #13 is my favorite name too.

I often visit your blog too. Don't always commnent, but you have a way of sharing and seeing things that makes me come back.

Hope you have a blessed Mother's Day!

Jessica Morris said...

Thanks for the votes!!! Haha... I don't think I have a shot at winning, but it would be pretty sweet!! I better not slack any more at the blogging thing!!


Nan said...

Excellent TT listing. I might have to steal that one for this week as I'm drawing a complete blank. And "annoys the living shit outta me" is one of my favorite phrases. Glad you liked it!

joe said...

Back Pain is a pain in my… well… back!
I was hit by a car a few years ago and since then I have suffered a lot of lower back pain and back ache! I was on strong painkillers for awhile but then I was getting addicted to them so had to drop them before it got too bad. That was about a year ago now and since then I have been looking for alternate ways of relieving the pain and aching until a month ago I was struggling to find anything that helped but I managed to get hold of a memory foam mattress and I finally got a good night’s sleep! It was great! memory foam mattresses support my back where its needed relieving the pain and relaxing the muscles. I’m moving in with my girlfriend and I’m thinking of buying a king size memory foam mattress which will help me sleep but I have a feeling that her snoring will keep me awake anyway!