Evil Twin

I am what I call a “weirdo magnet”. This morning I was at the gas station pumping gas and minding my own business. Some guy I’ve never seen before walks up to me, looks me right in the eye and the next thing I know he is yelling something about why I never call him anymore and begins whacking me with his rolled up newspaper.

I backed away and while I was ordering this weirdo to get his bleeping hands off of me, another patron stepped in between us asking the weirdo what his bleeping problem was. The weirdo snapped back into reality and apologized profusely saying he thought I was someone else.

This confirms my suspicions that I have an evil twin somewhere. Several months ago some friends of mine stumbled across this risqué picture of a girl in a guitar ad on the internet. Subtracting the tattoos and rather bad porn star appearance, she looked exactly like me. I will either have to find her and tell her to call this guy back or get myself some plastic surgery.