Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue

Yesterday I received some very troubling news from my daughter, her therapist and her physician.

I mentioned yesterday that Middle Daughter suffers from Depression, Anorexia Nervosa and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. After a complete physical exam earlier in the week, several therapy sessions and my daughter’s desire to battle this illness, it was determined that she has unfortunately completely relapsed and will need to be hospitalized again.

She spent most of last summer in the hospital and I didn't blog about it because I was having my own problems trying to deal with it. With time, though, I learned, too that keeping things secret is not always good. I have some great readers who I consider friends and I shouldn't have to worry that my blog is always upbeat and/or RANTastic, right?

I can’t say I was completely surprised to hear this, but sometimes hoping that something isn’t so keeps me from accepting what I might be seeing with my own brown eyes.

I am so proud of her for coming forward and accepting help and so pained that she is having troubles. Eating Disorders are extremely difficult battles to fight and I know somewhere, Healthy Samantha is still in there not giving up and that is giving us all hope.

Still, it is incredibly hard seeing your baby struggle like this. My daughter is extremely attractive, intelligent and so talented it’s almost unbelievable. I’m not even saying this because I’m her mother. I’m so hoping that one day soon, she will be able to see herself the same way everyone else does.

My brown eyes are very blue today as I make the necessary arrangements. I’m so sad that somebody I love so much is in so much pain and there is nothing I can do.

If you pray, cross your fingers, keep good thoughts, wish on stars...whatever it is you do, if you could please add my Samantha to your list it would mean a lot to me.