So Hip It Hurts

I’ve always been somewhat of a trendsetter. I drove a minivan before all my mom friends did. I decorated my house in a southwestern style before it was trendy and I had panic attacks way before they became a socially acceptable occurrence, too. I’m what you call “hip”. So hip, in fact, it hurts.

Back in the days before everyone was suffering from one three letter abbreviated ailment or another, I was always unnecessarily anxious, doing things that calm people might find a bit weird and constantly clenching my teeth. Currently, this is known as GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). When I was little, though, the doctor called it by a different three letter word... odd. Just plain old “odd” with three little letters. I’m certain that ODD (three big letters) is something else and I don't have that.

In case you haven't already guessed, constantly clenching your teeth for years on end is not a good thing to do. It puts a tremendous strain on your jaw joints and can leave you with another three letter abbreviated disorder known commonly known as TMJ. There are no three letter abbreviations for the pain produced by TMJ. It can only be described with four letter words. Additionally, TMJ can also cause your jaw to become locked. Locked closed, to me is preferable to locked open. Locked open is not an attractive look unless you are a blow-up doll.

Despite the pain, I still continue to clench my teeth. I am going to have to rethink this coping mechanism. Yesterday, I woke up in the middle of the night somewhat resembling a one-cheeked chipmunk. An emergency visit to the dentist revealed I have yet another three-letter abbreviated syndrome I had never heard of, CTS. Cracked Tooth Syndrome.

Apparently, my clenching has gotten so bad that I have put some stress fractures in my teeth, one of which was bad enough to cause an abscess. Not good. It doesn't hurt as much as it throbs. It's probably masked by the TMJ pain. If my face hadn’t swelled like it did, I wouldn’t have known anything else was wrong.

I have to take large quanities of penicillin for a few days and Thursday I start all the repair work which, despite having dental insurance, I can only sum up with another commonly known three letter abbreviation.....OMG!